Lately, I’ve had a pretty shitty outlook on life. I’ve told myself a million times (since August) that if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have ANY luck. I’ve already discussed the issues I had in August and September ad nauseam; October didn’t really start off much better, considering I spent six days in the gang unit of two separate county jails. But this isn’t me going into those issues again. Tonight, I am going to actually discuss one of the few positives that have happened to me in this time frame.
In past blogs, I have written about the friendships that I have that mean the most to me; the friends who have been there for me in my times of need, or to listen to me bitch and complain about my problems at the time. In each of those, I realized I left one person out. Now, it wasn’t done purposely; this person and I had grown apart over the past couple years, to the point where we didn’t have an actual conversation for about a year. Over the last five weeks, however, she and I have re-kindled our friendship, and I couldn’t be happier. That’s right, I’m talking about you, Erin Rae.
Erin and I started off as being “neighbors” for just over 10 years, living in the same apartment complex. She and I instantly hit it off, and I knew from the first time we hung out that I had a friend for life. As time passed and we got older, our interactions became more frequent, from enjoying a mason jar of moonshine that I brought over to her mother’s place (which she claims there is still some left of), to late nights spent at the bowling alley, taking funny pictures and drinking $2 shots. She was present at probably my favorite adult birthday party (my 22nd, which I only remember bits and pieces of), and to this day she and I have never had even an argument.
Recently, she and I started talking again, and I realized something: in all the time that I have known her, she has been one of few people who actually HELPS me with my issues. The help she provides, however, is much different than everyone else. While everyone else gives me advice, she’s one of the people I go to in order to escape from whatever bothers me at that time. If I’m feeling depressed about getting my heart broken, she won’t give me the typical “things will get better” speech; instead, we will go to he BNE’s house and hang out, talk about everything, and I’ll completely forget whatever is ailing me, even if it is only for a few hours.
Last week, she and I were waiting on some food to be brought out to us at KFC, and through our conversation, I realized something. Our conversation transitioned smoothly from why she was later showing up to her BNE’s house than everyone else, to why her water bill used to be so high. The information that was being discussed was as natural as telling a family member about how you met the love of your life. There were no awkward moments; come to think of it, I can’t remember a single time she and I have felt uncomfortable or awkward around each other. This conversation really solidified in my head the fact that she truly is more than just one of my best friends; she is like a sister to me. She is someone that knows no matter where I am in the world or in my life, I will always make time for her. I also realized that she is one of the most genuine, special, and amazing people that I know.
On Facebook recently, I posted, “Few people are able to leave their footprints on your heart and impressions in your mind, but when you come across those who can, be sure that you let them know each and every opportunity you can. For those who I have said “I love you” to, please be aware that I mean it each and every time, and I feel it with each passing day. It is you select few who make me the person I am, and for that, I am forever grateful.” She told me that she wasn’t sure if she fell into that category, because I have never actually told her that I love her. i told at that moment that I do, but the more I thought about it, I realized that the text message I sent her didn’t do her justice. That is the reason for this blog.
Erin, your footprints will forever be on my heart. Your smile will always be one that can make me feel better, no matter the situation. You are the friend that everyone needs in their life; the friend who provides an escape when things are bad, and makes things that are already great simply amazing. Instead of just telling you how much I love you and how much you mean to me, I decided to tell the entire Internet (or whoever actually reads my blog, haha). Nonetheless, thank you for everything you have done, and I look forward to us growing this already amazing friendship. Thank you for everything, Erin.